I’m going to preface this post by saying that, at one point, I thought I had gluten intolerance. I still may. I don’t know. It is an untimely process of elimination after an assault of tests or, more likely, divination.
I’ve tried many gluten-free products to bolster a mostly gluten-free food existence. Listen, I’m not doing this because it’s all-the-rage or suffer from bread guilt or whatever. I love pasta. I love bread. Neither make me feel good anymore and it’s a sadness words cannot express. The expensive rice bread disintegrates into a powdery pulp as soon as it makes contact with saliva. The quinoa pasta sticks to itself. Gluten is the life-glue of every warm homemade roll and piece of pie and mound of lasagna worth eating.
It’s hard to know what gluten-free products will taste good. A cracker is a product I can usually live without, but sometimes I want to put cheese on a hard, flat surface and then put it into my mouth. It’s a psychological vehicle for dairy.
The Orgran Toasted Crispibread (yes the ‘i’ is italicized on the box) is something I found at Park Natural and was hopeful it could become my go-to cracker. The reviews were mixed. Veronica, Matt, and I discuss its qualities for your pleasure.*
*The following transcript represents the opinions of individuals and does not reflect OrangeYouGlad’s values and/or opinions.
V “It’s like eating an idea of a food.”
D “So you like it?”
V “I was confused the whole time I was eating it…but then I want another one.”
M “It’s a form of torture.”
D “Do you want to elaborate on that?”
M “It’s like munching on a husk…”
V “of a dream.”
M “…like a stale husk. A husk is more appetizing than this.”
V “Wait, do you really hate it? Can I have another one? Thanks.”
——- Three hours later ——-
M “Are you still eating those?”
D “Only because they exist.”